As a “stay at home mum” you are the queen of your castle. You spend your time beautifying your home ….. maybe not so much your self but never mind. You spend your days catering to your loved ones and raising them to be the best they can be…. Sounds like a life full of love, but why is it that most of us are sometimes angry, sad or even a little depressed?
It’s very easy for a stay at home mum to feel useless, alone and totally isolated and that can very much lead to negative thoughts and even depression and many mums feel to guilty to admit this but it’s not a bad thing it’s actually quite normal.
A stay at home mum works 365 days a year, no days of, no breaks at all…NOTHING! now although everything is done with love, some may still feel a lack of accomplishment or personal development although as a SAHM she has already succeeded in becoming a mum, a nurse, a cook, a teacher, a lawyer you name it (Yaaay mum power) she can still feel at an all time low, lets break it down and see why these feelings even start to appear.
Being a mum changes your life and it sure does change it forever, although it’s lovely being a mum – the best thing in the world. It’s still tough as hell and you still find yourself mourning your childless lifestyle years down the line. Most will find that your friends slowly vanish (to where I have no idea), you loose a source of income which at one point was part of what made you an “independent” woman you always sought to be and that’s just the way it seems due to how busy your life is now looking after your little family.
HELP & SUPPORT
If you’re anything like me you will know how hard it is to be a SAHM with no support around you. I live in a complete different city to my family who would have been my support system ( Yes, we have technology and for my sanity a little Facetime helps, but grandma can’t babysit through Facetime while I go for a well deserved pamper session.. (Argh) also, I couldn’t have asked for a better most supportive husband (love my bae) but let’s be real someone has to put bread on the table cuz I love to eat (that a joke btw, so laugh!) but when he’s home I sure do take advantage and if you don’t.. GIRL YOU SHOULD! But am talking about that real help that keeps you sane that makes your life a little bit easier, that help were you arrange a breakfast date with your bestie while your mum or sister has the kids for a while, that help where you arrange a date night with your hubby and your brother happily jumps in to stay with the kids for the night .. sounds like a fairy tale right? well, it doesn’t exist in my world either but we will get through it.
Have you noticed the “friends” you have (like, that lady you bump into at the grocery store topping up on nappies) you have nothing in common with other than the fact your both SAHM’s, have you noticed your slowly loosing yourself, your hobbies, goals etc. Like the only proper conversation you have is with your children… yep, I noticed to with 2 under 3 I spend my days singing along to rhymes, talking about which colour dinosaur is my favorite or which toy car I want to cuddle with at bedtime (sigh) although it’s a joy to watch your child vocabulary grow and you can now have a conversation with them, it can sometimes be so mind numbing literally gets on your last nerve. Sometimes I almost feel anxious being in “adulty” situation. Therefore most SAHM’s lives consist of feeding the kids, changing them, playing with them, napping them, yaay now its you time while they nap… nope, you now get some peace and quite so its cleaning the house and making dinner ready for when they wake up from the nap and it becomes a cycle… literally eat, sleep, wipe s**t, repeat.
Ok, moan over we have to do something about it.
For me after having my second child and with all the pressure of looking after two kids I realised best way is to literally wipe the sleep from my eye , think positive and get ready. Shower first thing in the morning, get dressed, put on that face do a full contour if you have to Anastasia hooked it up (if you get it you get it) and I promise you will see and feel a massive difference in how you feel and how your day goes. looking good makes you feel good try it!! remember your mood in the morning will determine your mood for the rest of the day.
You’re a SAHM but who said your life is over? It’s not, so set some me time, have your partner or someone you trust look after the kids while you recharge, for me I found 30 minutes away from everyone having a nice long warm bubble bath was enough to keep me going for a little longer, or a night out with your friend – just make sure you don’t spend all night talking about the children. This break although short does make a huge difference. try it!!
SET A SCHEDULE
Working to a schedule makes me feel great, I literally have a diary with a to-do list all the way to Africa and back and the time of when these tasks should be completed, and by the end of the night when looking at my list all ticked of I feel so great as I finished everything I set out to for the day. I feel positive like I have everything in check, and putting the kids to bed a little earlier will give you two, three hours of you time literally doing nothing apart from sitting on the sofa and finally having your TV back… I love this part of the day.
Get out and about straight after breakfast, go anywhere, to the park, playgroup, shopping, go to a new place with the kids, etc.. BELIEVE ME two hours out in the morning every other day will make a huge difference you will feel less isolated, less alone and more happy.
Hope this helped and hope that many of you lovely mamas realise this is a common thing, and being a SAHM doesn’t have to be such a sad experience… Do you have any tips if so please share and comment below you never know it could change someone’s life. 🙂