A selfish mum is a happy mum. You have to be “selfish” in order to be happy! Well, that’s what society would call it but I certainly don’t think it’s selfish.

To me it’s a must! You must put yourself first, you must value yourself, you must want to take care of yourself, you must want to start that business, you must want to get that promotion, you must want to go on that holiday, you must want to take a break, you must want to be you, fully without feeling guilty that you are happy.

Of course we love our children more than anything in the world. More than ourselves, but think about this next sentence I’m about to say ; no child wants an unhappy moany grumpy sad unfulfilled mum they just don’t! you’re only going to kill it for yourself as well as them.

I honestly believe If you are truly happy, fulfilled, and successful as a woman in which ever way you define success only then can you give your children peace, happiness and willingness to better themselves.

I used to think cooking, cleaning all day and doing other random chores was my “thing” now I’m a mum and it made me horrible! Moody, snappy and fed up, playing with the kids became a chore, and I felt like such a bad mum for feeling that way so guilt started eating up at me which made things worse, then I figured that was due to the repetitiveness to the bordem of what I was doing and quite frankly I was exhausted, exhausted of cleaning after breakfast, cleaning during the day, cooking lunch and cleaning after lunch, cooking dinner cleaning after dinner, don’t forget the in-betweens like kids fighting or, something spilling on the rug or something breaking or someone needing me in the bathroom or having to stop for a minute because it’s nap time, and the list go on.

Well with that type of to do list on a daily basis how on earth would I have time for myself, to look after my self, to focus on my business, to better myself as a professional to give my children a better start in life, to have me time to socialise for sake of my sanity, to do “womanly” things that seem to vanish after giving birth like look after my skin that’s completely been ruined due to my pregnancies ( yaay! ) and all that jazz that our body and hormones go through, to get my nails done that have been looking like a teenage boys nails, do my hair and NOT in a bun ( rolls eyes ), wear that sexy little outfit on the cupboard  that never came out after baby 1 was born, go to the gym, have an uninterrupted bath and I’m sure you get the just if you are a mummy of little ones: you know there was no time to feel like me, no time to look after me I had no energy for ANYTHING!!!!

I hate that feeling..

I thought eff this, I matter, I’m important I’m the mum. the kids need a happy one, a positive one, one that doesn’t brush them off when they are asking to play due to exhaustion from the day, so I decided I will do little things each day that make me happy, I will look after myself, mentally spiritually, financially and definitely physically.


“Loving yourself can work miracles!”


I gave myself an hour each day to do “me” things, I’m telling you lady it was needed, it’s amazing what a little break can do and how it can charge you up for the next 24 hours haha!.

To be honest it’s made me happy, positive and motivated. Things can get hard sometimes especially if you are a stay/work at home mum like me you find you’re in your surroundings more than advised!!

But little changes each day work, its even impacted my kids attitude they are happier, they don’t see me as a boring mum always cleaning. Always grumpy (although I’d try not to show but there is only so much of that we can hide)

We play a lot more, ( snakes and ladders is our fave at the moment) and I give them so much more time because I’m stress free. Not feeling down. I’m eager to go and full of positivity, I love this feeling… I’m happy! So I think I’m doing a half decent job as a mum.

Here are some examples of the things I would be doing and what you could do as well as a little example of my self-care routine, it involves a lot of me time and jotting it all down like this makes me look forward to it and stick to it.


Note: I would have put that up as a printable PDF, but for reasons I will discuss with you later, I decided not to.

What do you think, have you been through anything similar? Let me know and give me some tips if you have!



  1. 23rd February 2018 / 8:43 pm

    I think this post is brilliant! I have always thought that it is ridiculous to expect mum to give up on every single aspect of their life for their kids. Putting yourself first half of the time can only increase your satisfaction and makes you happier and more willing to be a better mum! I might print this for myself even though i am not a mum! xx corinne

    • Itsmamaxo
      24th February 2018 / 10:22 am

      Do it my love, Self care is always important no matter who you are. Thank you Hun xx

  2. 23rd February 2018 / 8:50 pm

    This is such a good post! Self care as a mum is SO important. I’m a stay at home mum and I sometimes find I’m doing the same things every day; tidying, cleaning, washing etc.. Luckily my husband often tells me to go and have some self care time which I’m grateful for, otherwise I wouldn’t! I definitely find when I’m happier, my boy is happier. Great post 😊

    Sarah | http://www.justbuttonsblog.co.uk

    • Itsmamaxo
      24th February 2018 / 10:21 am

      Thank you Hun, I think it’s definitely harder for stay at home mums I was going out of my mind but with a few changes it’s helped me a lot and made the house a happier home 💖 xx

  3. Farrah Aslam
    23rd February 2018 / 9:00 pm

    I don’t have kids of my own, but my sisters both have two little ones and I honestly say to them all the time “I don’t know how you do it.” You mothers deserve so much more credit and all the me time you can get because as far as I’ve seen being a mother is bloody hard work! I’ll send my sisters this blog post too as I know they’ll find it a really good read xxx

    • Itsmamaxo
      24th February 2018 / 10:20 am

      Yea do so and tell them to put themselves first it’ll do them wonders believe me. And don’t want to scare you haha it’s more fun than not and with practicing with your sisters kids I’m sure you’ll ace motherhood 💖 xx

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