A selfish mum is a happy mum. You have to be “selfish” in order to be happy! Well, that’s what society would call it but I certainly don’t think it’s selfish.
To me it’s a must! You must put yourself first, you must value yourself, you must want to take care of yourself, you must want to start that business, you must want to get that promotion, you must want to go on that holiday, you must want to take a break, you must want to be you, fully without feeling guilty that you are happy.
Of course we love our children more than anything in the world. More than ourselves, but think about this next sentence I’m about to say ; no child wants an unhappy moany grumpy sad unfulfilled mum they just don’t! you’re only going to kill it for yourself as well as them.
I honestly believe If you are truly happy, fulfilled, and successful as a woman in which ever way you define success only then can you give your children peace, happiness and willingness to better themselves.
I used to think cooking, cleaning all day and doing other random chores was my “thing” now I’m a mum and it made me horrible! Moody, snappy and fed up, playing with the kids became a chore, and I felt like such a bad mum for feeling that way so guilt started eating up at me which made things worse, then I figured that was due to the repetitiveness to the bordem of what I was doing and quite frankly I was exhausted, exhausted of cleaning after breakfast, cleaning during the day, cooking lunch and cleaning after lunch, cooking dinner cleaning after dinner, don’t forget the in-betweens like kids fighting or, something spilling on the rug or something breaking or someone needing me in the bathroom or having to stop for a minute because it’s nap time, and the list go on.
Well with that type of to do list on a daily basis how on earth would I have time for myself, to look after my self, to focus on my business, to better myself as a professional to give my children a better start in life, to have me time to socialise for sake of my sanity, to do “womanly” things that seem to vanish after giving birth like look after my skin that’s completely been ruined due to my pregnancies ( yaay! ) and all that jazz that our body and hormones go through, to get my nails done that have been looking like a teenage boys nails, do my hair and NOT in a bun ( rolls eyes ), wear that sexy little outfit on the cupboard that never came out after baby 1 was born, go to the gym, have an uninterrupted bath and I’m sure you get the just if you are a mummy of little ones: you know there was no time to feel like me, no time to look after me I had no energy for ANYTHING!!!!
I hate that feeling..
I thought eff this, I matter, I’m important I’m the mum. the kids need a happy one, a positive one, one that doesn’t brush them off when they are asking to play due to exhaustion from the day, so I decided I will do little things each day that make me happy, I will look after myself, mentally spiritually, financially and definitely physically.
“Loving yourself can work miracles!”
I gave myself an hour each day to do “me” things, I’m telling you lady it was needed, it’s amazing what a little break can do and how it can charge you up for the next 24 hours haha!.
To be honest it’s made me happy, positive and motivated. Things can get hard sometimes especially if you are a stay/work at home mum like me you find you’re in your surroundings more than advised!!
But little changes each day work, its even impacted my kids attitude they are happier, they don’t see me as a boring mum always cleaning. Always grumpy (although I’d try not to show but there is only so much of that we can hide)
We play a lot more, ( snakes and ladders is our fave at the moment) and I give them so much more time because I’m stress free. Not feeling down. I’m eager to go and full of positivity, I love this feeling… I’m happy! So I think I’m doing a half decent job as a mum.
Here are some examples of the things I would be doing and what you could do as well as a little example of my self-care routine, it involves a lot of me time and jotting it all down like this makes me look forward to it and stick to it.
Note: I would have put that up as a printable PDF, but for reasons I will discuss with you later, I decided not to.
What do you think, have you been through anything similar? Let me know and give me some tips if you have!